URBAN WELLNESS BLOG

Regaining Our Sense of Self

Often times we hit a bump in the road where we just do not feel like ourselves. Many different life events can trigger such a feeling. Some of those things may be a loss of a loved one, a break up, having limited time for ourselves, losing a job, and the list can go on and on. We tend to quickly find excuses as to the why we do not have time for the things we often need. There is no better time than right now, in this moment, to work on getting back to feeling like YOU again. I like to encourage my clients to create lists and this would be one of those times. First, we want to start thinking about the question, “What are some areas you want to begin focusing more attention on?” The only restriction you have for creating this list is that the focus has to be brought back to YOU and you alone!

Below I have provided you with a few possible suggestions just to get your wheels spinning! Being creative and customizing your list to YOU is the most important part.

• Take some time to be outside and in nature.

1. 1. • We are often so busy in our day to day activities that we forget to stop and take in the beauty the world has to offer. Seriously, look outside your window. I am sure you can find one thing that is beautiful in your eyes. It is a great way to help you find a sense of peace. Try going for a walk, enjoy some time at the beach, or find a spot to watch the sun rise or set!

• Remember mishaps happen-what did you learn.

1. 1. • Cut yourself a break. We often hold ourselves to unrealistic expectations and tell ourselves we cannot make a mistake. But the truth is perfection is not a real thing. EVERYONE makes mistakes. Try not to dwell on the past. Remember, we cannot control everything, and preparation only helps so much. The more you worry about it, the less time you spend just living and enjoying this moment. Be present. Take what you have learned from any mistake, let go of what happened, and move forward.

• Try not to take life too seriously.

1. 1. • Life is a ridiculous roller coaster. There are ups and downs; twists and turns. Practice just having fun. I mean pee your pants, I haven’t laughed this hard since I was a kid type of fun! When was the last time you laughed that way? Learn to laugh at yourself. I can name probably 10 funny (yet frustrating) things I have done just today. If we can laugh it off, life become easier…manageable…more fun!

• Increase healthy habits.

1. 1. • Whether you decide you want to work out more, quit eating out as much or eat healthier choices, or give up a habit you have been trying to quit today should be the day. You decide what will help YOU feel healthier. Exercise releases endorphins in the brain that help you to feel happier. Choosing to eat better or give up a habit that has previously been a struggle will help you to feel more confident in yourself and proud of creating a healthier lifestyle.

• Create goals for yourself.

1. 1. • Setting goals creates a positive thing you will be focusing your energy and focus on. This will not only help you to feel excitement surrounding achieving your goal, but will also be a motivating factor to remind you to stay on track. Remember, realistic obtainable goals should be the parameters when creating a goal you want to achieve. Nothing is too small to be a goal!

• Try something new.

1. 1. • Trying something new is sometimes flat out scary. However, it can also be exciting, amazing, or exhilarating. Do something that you have maybe been interested in, have a fear of, think you may be embarrassed doing, or just something you thought you would never do. Live in the moment, say yes, travel, dance without caring who is watching. Try something new!

• Let go.

1. 1. • Holding onto things will often eat us up; it can consume us. We can feel an emotion causing tension in our shoulders, or maybe an overall agitated feeling. Sometimes we do not even realize we are holding on to things. Listen to yourself. Allow yourself the opportunity to cry, be sad or angry. Give yourself time (when needed) to experience your emotion, and then let it go. Feel it and move forward.

• Socializing.

1. 1. • As we continue to be filled with obligations in our life, we often notice we may limit our social interactions. Making time to do fun activities with your friends could be rejuvenating. Make time to be you with the people who love you.

• Alone time.
  • Taking time to be alone is something we often just don’t do. It feels selfish; so instead we keep ourselves busy.  However, realistically…it’s not selfish…it’s self care. Just as much as time with others is important, so is time for you. Be still. Reflect. Watch your favorite TV show that everyone in your family complains about, read, journal, take a nap. Time for ourselves is crucial for stress management and reflection.

• Embrace the true you.

1. • We all are unique individuals. This world would be a boring place if this was not true. Embrace what makes you, YOU. You are wonderful, special, unique, loved, and important. You have something to contribute to this world. You have a special way you share yourself with the world-whether that be your favorite choice of clothing, color of your hair, personality, and so much more. What do you like? What makes you you? Show us!! The world is special because each of us is unique…corny I know … but never the less true.

Find your way back to you. Listen to your needs, be creative. But most importantly have fun.

About the Author

Dana Rivera, LCPC is a therapist at our Edison Park location. Dana works with children, teens, and adults. Dana’s specialties include self-esteem and personal growth, behavior modification, and anxiety. If you are interested in working with Dana, send an email today!