Everyone uses cliches.

We all hear them probably since we were little: Don’t judge a book by it’s cover. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Don’t cry over spilled milk. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, I’ll be honest, I’m not even sure what this one even means. It’s easy to dismiss these cliches as we get older. Not all cliches are bad and these are a few that are really words to live by. (See what I did there?)
You can’t please everyone
Really you can’t and trying is only going be worse for you. When we try to please everyone to try to control everything, what we normally feel is anxious, frustrated and overwhelmed. Sometimes we just have to make the best decision that works for us and in that moment. Not everyone else, because you can’t please everyone. It’s better and healthier for you to explore what you can do and adjust expectations accordingly. Trust this, you will be much happier for it. I’m not saying don’t take others into consideration but that know that you just can’t make everyone happy. And it’s not your sole responsibility to do so.

There’s no time like the present

Which is true, unless you are planning some super fantastic vacation for the future. Then that looks pretty great too. But in all honesty, living in the present is good for you. If you do things now, in the moment when you are able to, it makes us feel better and more accomplished. I know I feel better when the sink is clean and laundry is folded now then when I put it off and have to come back to it. If it gets done now that means you can have fun or relax sooner. The future is not set in stone for any of us and studies show that people who are more present and engaged are more content in their lives. So if there is something you have been wanting to do, whether it’s a vacation, work out class, a new hobby or all those chores. Tell yourself to do it now, because later…you might want to be doing something else or might have missed out on some cool opportunity because you are catching up on the things you originally put off.

You are the company you keep

This one is important because as we grow and develop, who we spend our time with becomes a reflection of who we are. I sat down with a few of my friends as they told me they were launching their new business, booking their next trip, starting an MBA program and I thought to myself how inspiring these people are. And they inspire me to do better, try harder, reach for more of what can make me happy. I am proud of the company I keep which I hope is a reflection of me. When I was surrounded by less inspiring people, I was also not inspired in my own life and I was unhappy. Once I started being around people who challenged me to grow in different ways, I was so much happier.  So I encourage you to look around and see what your company says about you.

Fake it til you make it

We all have heard this one. And I think it’s pretty accurate. Some days, we all feel like we have no idea what is going on. This is just when we have to fake it. There are many days when I feel like I am a big faker. And then someone will tell me how helpful I was or how much they learned. Sometimes you have to fake that things are good or that you know what you are doing. It’s impossible to be right all the time. And I don’t suggest you try to be right all the time either. Some days you just have to fib your way through the day and hope that you faked it good enough. You will figure it out and some days you won’t have to fake it at all. Anyone I have ever talked to talks about this cliche, which makes it less a cliche and just true.

Lastly here is one that I will adjust:

The grass is (not actually) greener on the other side

I really like this one because in the world of social media and constantly being connected with everyone you know and people you wish you knew or maybe didn’t know. It’s hard not to compare what you have with what you don’t have. Or avoid looking at what someone else is doing. Social media is not an accurate portrayal of someone’s life. It’s just the highlight reel. I am 100% guilty of this. No one is looking at my social media when I am in PJs watching Netflix. Not only that, but generally when we get to that aforementioned greener grass, something else will just look even more green. Comparing ourselves to others is a great way to feel bad about ourselves. So take a step back, breathe, be grateful for what you do have at this moment because someone might be looking at your grass thinking about how green it is.

About the Author

Fariha Newaz

Fariha Newaz, LCPC, CADC is a therapist at our Edison Park location. Fariha works with adolescents, young adults, adults, and couples. Fariha’s specialties include depression, anxiety, substance use, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, multicultural concerns, and South Asians specific concerns. If you are interested in working with Fariha, send an email today!