We’ve officially reached springtime! 

We can say goodbye to winter and say hello to brighter, longer days. And with them–hopefully–more energy and better moods! It’s a great time to take stock of your process and make sure you’re setting yourself up to make the most of the burst of energy that usually comes with the beginning of spring. One way you can do that is with a little spring cleaning!

But spring cleaning doesn’t have to mean getting out a vacuum and some windex. You can do other types of “cleaning” in other areas of your life that feel cluttered–physically or emotionally. 

One example of this is a workplace spring cleaning. What can that mean?

Literally spring clean: 

Yes, there are more ways to clean or cleanse your space and mind, but it’s often helpful to start off with an organized environment. Empty your trash, do a quick sweep of your desk or drawers or any adjacent space and try to organize it a bit. Consider if there’s anything in your space that has been frustrating you or otherwise having an effect on you & your health. Do you need a pillow to help support your back in your chair? Do you need to face a different direction to change how the light in your workspace or office hits your eyes? As you declutter, consider small changes you can make. 

Spring clean your calendar:

When was the last time you updated your calendar? Do you have old recurring notifications you don’t need still in there? Are there things that always seem to come up without giving you time to prepare? Why not put a notice in your calendar a few days ahead of it so you can remind yourself to gather what you need to get ready in whatever way you need to? 

Take stock: 

What is it you’re spending most of your time on? Can you keep track of what you do throughout the day? Is there anything that’s slowing you down or consistently causing problems? If it’s something someone else can manage better and you’re able to hand it off to them, can you open that discussion? If it’s not, can you ask for support in other ways? 

Spring clean your digital space: 

Our digital workspaces clutter up fast–maybe even faster than our physical ones! And, because we don’t really see that clutter, we don’t realize how it’s slowing us down or making our workspace inefficient. Take time to go through your computer and delete old files you don’t need, make sure everything is organized how you need it to be in order to make the best use of it going forward. 

Declutter your mental load:

If you’re feeling too much stress or pressure or like you’re constantly burned out, you probably need to reevaluate your boundaries. Are you taking on too many responsibilities? Are you letting work time bleed into your personal time? Are you taking on things that aren’t your responsibility? Think about what is causing you that stress or burn out, and consider what boundaries may need strengthening. 

Does your workplace need support in centering mental health and wellbeing? Is your team struggling to cope, but you’re not sure what to do or how to address it? We can help.

We believe that therapy is a life-changing way to support your mental health. That’s why we do what we do here at Urban Wellness! However if you’re going to therapy every week, that’s one hour a week out of 168. What can you do during the other 167 hours a week when you’re not in the therapy chair? There are lots of ways to support mental health between therapy sessions, so you can take some time to find what works best for you. 

Why is it important to tend to your mental health between therapy sessions?

Therapy is enormously helpful, and it can be an excellent place to learn new skills and gain insight into your patterns and relationships. We’ve talked about ways to make the most of your therapy sessions before, but it’s also important to use the time outside of therapy to support your mental health. 

The majority of your time is spent outside the therapy room. Part of the purpose of therapy is to find new ways to cope with what’s happening outside of the therapy room, and the time between sessions is perfect for practicing that. 

The work you do outside of the therapy room can be just as meaningful as the work you do inside. After all, real life is where you’re applying the lessons you’ve learned, using new coping skills, and responding in new ways. A goal of therapy is to help improve your day to day life, and 

The time between appointments gives you time to reflect on what you discussed and process what you need to. Sometimes, what we talk about in the therapy room can be pretty heavy. It’s normal for that to weigh on you after sessions, and it can take some time to process how you feel afterward. 

So, what can you do between therapy sessions to support your mental health? 

The options are pretty much endless. Ask yourself what makes you feel fulfilled and rejuvenated. What makes you feel cared for and safe? If you’re looking for some ideas, here are some suggestions to start with after your next therapy session: 

Journal

Therapy involves processing a lot of thoughts, feelings, and experiences. When you don’t have a chance to process those out loud with a therapist, writing things down can be a helpful substitute. Many people benefit from a regular journaling practice, especially in conjunction with therapy. Journal time gives you a chance to be really honest with yourself. You can learn more about your inner world and spot any unhelpful patterns that are no longer serving you. 

A journal is also the perfect place to keep a list of what to discuss in your therapy sessions. It can be hard to keep track of everything that comes up between sessions. Writing it down not only gives you a chance to remember to bring it up, but it can help you start down the road to processing your feelings about what’s going on. 

Practice what you talked about 

The time in between sessions is the perfect time to implement some of what you talked about with your therapist. Is there a coping strategy that you can practice? Is there a conversation that you can have with someone about something you discussed in therapy? If your therapist had advice or insight for you, reflect on what they said and take their advice if a situation comes up where you can. Even if you don’t end up taking their advice, sometimes just knowing that you can do things differently is empowering. 

Make time for self-care, including rest

Remember, you don’t have to be constantly working on yourself. We’re all doing the best we can, for the most part. Don’t beat yourself up for making time to rest and recuperate between therapy sessions. As we said above, therapy can be intense. We work through a lot in the therapy room, and it’s important to your mental and physical health that you get enough rest. Rest is when your body and brain repair themselves. It’s also just nice to give yourself a break. There are lots of ways to practice self-care, from making time for rest to making sure to fill your prescriptions before you run out. What makes you feel most supported when you’re struggling? See if you can provide that support for yourself. 

Remember how far you’ve come

It can be frustrating to feel like change isn’t happening as fast as we want it to. Mental health work can be slow going, and so it’s important to remind yourself of the shifts you do see, even if they seem small or insignificant. Did you handle something more effectively than you expected to? Did you have that hard conversation you’ve been dreading? Have you practiced enforcing a boundary? Even attending therapy is an accomplishment in itself- it’s hard to prioritize yourself week after week, especially when the work gets tough. Sticking with it is a huge deal! Remember to be proud of yourself for how far you’ve come since you started your therapy journey. 

Are you looking for more ways to support your mental health between therapy sessions? Mental health is multifaceted, and we can support you in a number of ways at Urban Wellness, from therapy services to medication management. Get in touch today to get started. 

What role does friendship play in your life?

As we get older, the relationships we have change. There’s a lot of focus on finding a romantic partner and maintaining family connections, so in adulthood sometimes friendship takes a backseat. We only have so much time after all, and between the demands of work, home, and family it can be hard to find the time to prioritize friends. Friendship is an important type of relationship at every stage of life, though, and adulthood is no exception. 

Friendship is a bond unlike any other. Friends are support systems, chosen family, confidants, cheerleaders, and more. Sharing a history with someone is powerful. When you’re friends with someone for a while, you get to know each other on a deeper level. You’ll have shared memories and inside jokes. The good things in life feel even better when you can share them with someone you care about deeply.

Why is it important to have friends as an adult? 

One relationship can’t meet all your needs. We’re human, and we’re built for connection with others. No two people will have the exact same needs, and that’s okay. We’re designed to be in community, which can involve romantic partners, family members, and friends of all kinds.

It’s hard to be around the same person all the time, even if you love each other very much. Having a variety of people you spend time with can help you meet different needs. For example, you might have friends who help you nurture your creativity, and others who give you helpful advice. Friendships can serve all sorts of purposes. 

There are even different kinds of friendship. Some friendships are based on utility or proximity. Think of the relationships you have with coworkers or neighbors. It might seem like this type of friendship isn’t as important as others, but it’s always helpful to have people in your life that you can turn to, even if it’s for something like bringing in the mail when you’re out of town. 

Other friendships might be based on something more personal, like a hobby or mutual interest. These friendships can provide a sense of community and help you meet new people. Interests tend to change, so these types of friendships don’t always stand the test of time. That’s okay!

Close friendships are the “best friends” kind of friendships. Close friends share deep, meaningful connections with one another. Often close friendships develop from these less intimate types of friendships over time. Each kind of friendship serves a different purpose. 

What other benefits does friendship provide? Here are 4 ways friendship makes our lives better: 

Friendship provides support

Friends are often a big source of support for one another. Friendship gives you someone to confide in, someone to ask questions to, someone to laugh with, someone to get advice from, or just a shoulder to lean on. While we can’t choose our family, we can’t choose our friends. For people who don’t have relationships with their families for whatever reason, friends can be especially important. Friends help us when things get tough in our lives. They give us advice, comfort, and emotional safety. 

Friends help us feel accepted

Friendships increase our sense of belonging. When we feel accepted by others, it feels good. It’s hard to be alone. We’re not designed for it, and loneliness can have serious consequences physically and mentally. Having people who accept you for who you are can help you feel more secure. We all have insecurities, and having friends who accept us anyway makes a big difference. 

Friends can boost confidence

It feels good to be cared about by someone. When you know that you have someone in your corner, it can give you a nice boost of confidence. Friends can help remind you of all that you have to offer. Hearing what your friends admire about you can give you reassurance in moments of doubt or insecurity. Even if you don’t feel super confident, imagine how your friends would talk to you. How would they help pump you up? What would they tell you? Give yourself that little pep talk when you can’t get it from them directly. 

Friendship enriches our lives

Not only do friends give us support, help us feel accepted, and boost our confidence, but they just make life better. Life is more enjoyable with friends of all kinds. Sharing our lives with friends is fun. Friends can push us to be our best and encourage us when we need it. Everyday experiences can feel more meaningful when we share them with the people we care about. Friendship is a mutual relationship – it takes two people to make it work. So not only do you get all of these benefits, your friends do too. That’s pretty awesome!
Friendship is an essential part of life. For more support when it comes to relationships of all kinds, from the one you have with yourself to the ones you have with others, try working with a therapist. Therapy can help you learn more about your relational patterns and give you a new perspective on relating to others. Take the first step and get started today.

Does your child have difficulty managing their big feelings? 

Are they prone to throwing tantrums when they’re too overwhelmed? Do they shut down when those big feelings come up? Do they work themselves up even more because they don’t know how to deal with them?

Big feelings are hard to manage, even for adults sometimes. So it makes sense that kids would struggle with it–after all, as adults we’ve had a lot more practice navigating our emotions than our kids have. And if we still need help with it, think how overwhelming those big feelings can be for someone without the experience we have in dealing with them?

So how can we help them?

Explore what you’re modeling for them: 

Like we said, managing big emotions is hard for everyone, not just kids. Do you have a process of reflection or a way of managing those big feelings in a healthy way? Kids notice our behavior, so what you model will be the starting place for what they learn. Make sure you have a healthy process that you can both model for and teach to your child to help them manage their own feelings. 

Give them resources: 

There is a lot to learn about our feelings and our mental health. And no matter how hard you may want to be, you can’t be the number one expert on all things for your child. So instead, you get to be the number one expert on how to help your child find the right resource. Start simple: there are a lot of books you can read with your child to help teach them about their big feelings, what they mean, and how they can manage them. 

Let them know there are no “bad” feelings:

We don’t like to feel angry or jealous or sad or any other “negative” feeling, but it’s important to learn that having these feelings doesn’t make you bad and there is no way to avoid them forever! All feelings have a purpose, they’re just telling us something about ourselves. It’s our job to try and listen to what they’re saying to us, so we can address the need they’re trying to communicate. 

Try deescalation strategies: 

Finding a strategy that works when your child does have a tantrum or meltdown can take some effort but there are a number of things you can try. It’s helpful for you and your child if you have a strategy that helps calm you both right in your back pocket. 

Help them find their own coping strategies: 

If your child can make a plan for how to cope when they’re feeling overwhelmed by their feelings, that can help to give them a stronger sense of control and help reduce any anxiety those big feelings cause. Help them make a list of things they can do when they feel overwhelmed and make sure they have an adult who isn’t you to turn to who you trust, so your child has another option to turn to.

If you need more support in talking to your child about mental health, our counselors can help come up with a plan that works for you and your family.

When was the last time you were bored? Boredom has a pretty bad reputation. When you think of being bored, what comes to mind? Feeling frustrated, uninspired, irritable, tired, hopeless and more are all associated with boredom, and those are all things that don’t feel great. Boredom is usually a feeling we try to avoid, but there are actually benefits to feeling bored. 

Sometimes, boredom isn’t the problem, it’s the way we cope with the boredom. For some, boredom leads to bursts of creativity or an increased ability to practice mindfulness. For others, it can lead to feeling depressed or relying on coping mechanisms that don’t serve them anymore. Boredom has been blamed for a number of things from gambling to infidelity, but boredom isn’t actually the source of the behavior. Feeling bored can be uncomfortable, which is why it’s so tempting to do something to relieve that discomfort, even if it ends up causing harm in the long run. 

If this has happened to you, even on a small level, don’t feel bad! We all react to difficult emotions in ways that aren’t helpful to us in the long term. We’ve all done something dumb when we were bored. If there’s one thing that scientists know about humans, it’s that we don’t like to be uncomfortable for long. It makes a lot of sense that you did what you could to alleviate that discomfort, even if it’s something you wouldn’t do again.

When you get the urge to beat yourself up for ways you’ve coped in the past, try to be kind to yourself instead. Interrupt that critical voice in your head and give yourself the compassion you’d give to your best friend. 

While too much of anything can be problematic, feeling bored here and there can actually be a good thing. Once you’ve noticed how you react to feeling bored, you can be more aware of when you start to cope in a way that doesn’t work for you, and cut it off before it goes too far. You might notice that it gets a little less uncomfortable to be bored once you’ve allowed yourself to feel boredom a few times. 

So, how can boredom be beneficial for your mental health? Here are 4 ways that feeling bored is good for you: 

Boredom inspires creativity

The nice thing about boredom is that it allows your mind to wander. Our brains like to be stimulated, and if it can’t find something it will make it up. Daydreaming is a great example of this. You’ve probably felt your mind start to wander before. The next time you’re feeling bored, see how far your mind can take you. 

Feeling bored can increase mindfulness

For some, learning to be bored can be reminiscent of a mindfulness practice. Mindfulness is a practice where you try to only focus on the present moment. Instead of worrying about the future or feeling regret or shame about the past, focusing on the present can be a powerful way to ground yourself in moments of distress. 

One way mindfulness is beneficial is that it teaches you to sit with your feelings. As mentioned above, it’s natural to want to avoid feeling things that may be uncomfortable or painful. Regularly making time to focus on the present moment and notice your thoughts as they come and go can remind you that all feelings eventually pass. Even if you’re overwhelmed with boredom now, that feeling won’t last forever. Eventually, it will move on and you’ll feel something different.  Feeling bored can even be a reminder to you to take a moment to practice mindfulness during the day. 

Boredom helps you get to know yourself

When you’re bored, you have some time available to think about things, and that includes yourself. When you have nothing else to do, you can think about things like what your values are, goals you’re working toward, what is working for you or what isn’t, the status of your current relationships with others, any changes you want to make, and more. If you’re really bored, you can keep yourself occupied by journaling or dictating a voice memo to keep track of your thoughts. Writing down or speaking what you’re thinking can help you process tough feelings. It can also give you a chance to spot patterns and gain insight to use moving forward. 

Feeling bored can be an escape

Look, sometimes it’s just nice to take a break from the ins and outs of your day to day life. Daydreaming is one way that boredom provides an escape. While we all can’t escape to a secluded beach (or wherever your daydreams take you) on the regular in real life, nothing is stopping you from imagining you’re swinging in a hammock feeling the sun on your skin for a few minutes every day.  

Sometimes doing things differently can help ignite a spark of creativity or inspiration. Working with a therapist is another way to learn how to approach and consider things differently. Get in touch with our office today to get started. 

Are you looking to improve your overall wellness at work? Mental and physical wellness in the workplace isn’t a common topic, but since we spend so much of our time at work, it only makes sense that we’d need to take specific consideration to how that will impact our health–and what we can do about it. 

Whether you’re looking to improve your mental health in the workplace, strengthen the connections & culture, or trend to physical obstacles work presents to your health, we’ve written quite a bit on the subject! Here are 14 blogs to help you prioritize wellness in your workplace: 

Wellness Practices for the Workplace: 

Tending to Mental & Physical Wellness in the Workplace

“Finding ways to tend to your physical health in the office isn’t as disruptive as it sounds! You don’t need to transform your entire office into a wellness center, you just need to take a few minutes to consider what gets in the way of you leaving the office feeling physically well. And when you’re able to do that, you’re able to take small steps throughout the day to tend to yourself, so nothing gets to a point where it’s too hard to deal with. This in turn, can free up both physical and mental energy, and allow you to be more productive and engaged in your day!”

Read the full thing >

4 Simple Ways to Practice Mindfulness at Work

“Our minds often fly off in a hundred different directions when we’re stressed about something. Which means, if you’re working on one thing and get an email that there’s something else you’ll need to do, unrelated to what you’re working on now, it can be tempting to just get it taken care of right away. But this takes away from the focus and momentum you have for what you’re already working on. When something like this comes up, look at your post-it and ask if it needs to be taking up space in this moment, or if it can wait until you’re done.”

Read the full thing >

4 Ways to Use Your Phone for Workplace Wellness

“It’s true, being on top of your work and keeping track of every healthy habit you want to maintain is a lot to ask of a person! You can share some of this mental load by using your phone as a support.  Use a reminder app, a calendar app with a reminder function, or recurring alarms–anything that will allow you to set repeating reminders or alarms for those days you’re at work and won’t pause to think about self-care until you’re back home. Think about how you feel at the end of a workday. Do you have a headache? Are you grouchy? Hungry? Which needs aren’t being met throughout the day? Then set reminders based on those things.”

Read the full thing >

The Importance of Workplace Boundaries

“Establishing and communicating boundaries in the workplace can help prevent burnout before it starts, or help you right your course again when you’ve become too overloaded. While it is uncomfortable for many of us (work is a place we tend to feel helpful and productive, so saying that your plate is full or that you need support can be new and frightening while we learn to do it), being clear about your own boundaries in the workplace opens up the environment for your colleagues to respond in kind, which can help to foster a sense of communication and support amongst all colleagues.”

Read the full thing >

Strengthen Your Team Culture: 

How to Set Boundaries With Coworkers

“If you’re feeling burnt out, resentful of your job, overwhelmed, unsupported, or otherwise frustrated with your coworkers, it might be time to think about setting some work boundaries. What specifically is not working for you? What are your limits when it comes to work-life balance? Is there a specific coworker who makes you feel uncomfortable? Are you being given more work than you can reasonably handle? Once you narrow down the specifics of what isn’t working, you’ll have a blueprint for where you need to implement some boundaries.”

Read the full thing >

Improving Workplace Communication

“One person might be better at communicating with written communication like email or text. Other people might need to talk things through, with a voice memo or a voxer, or even a loom video. If you’re able to make accommodations for people’s preferred communication style, you will be able to meet them where they are and communicate more effectively.”

Read the full thing >

Fostering a Culture of Connection in a Remote World

“While working remotely, it’s important to think about the nature of the work you’re doing–and what the needs of that work are. If you’re trying to get something done on your own and just have a quick question, sure,  shoot over an email or drop a message in the Slack channel. But if you’re working on something more complex, something more creative or challenging, it will probably be more productive (and enjoyable) to work on that with someone else.” 

Read the full thing >

5 Ways to Support Staff Mental Health

“In the workplace, if you want vulnerability to be valued and practiced, you have to model it for your employees first. Make it clear that you value vulnerability and see it as something to be embraced rather than avoided. Mental health is a vulnerable subject, and the signal that it’s not taboo in the workplace has to come from you. When you initiate the conversations, check-ins, offerings of support, etc. it helps to show your staff that embracing vulnerability is a priority in your workplace.”

Read the full thing >

Encouraging a Culture of Self Care in the Workplace

“We know that it’s actually better for both employee health as well as happiness, job satisfaction, and work productivity, for vacation days to be used and used regularly. You may think just offering the vacation time is enough to get people to use it. But Americans have a very anti-vacation culture. So even when we have the option to take time off, we often feel too guilty or too much shame to use it. By encouraging employees to take time off you can create that culture that allows employees to make choices to care for themselves!”

Read the full thing >

Manage Mental Obstacles:

6 Signs You’re Dealing With Impostor Syndrome

“Do you feel like you’re only in your position because of timing or good luck? Maybe you don’t feel qualified to lead a project and feel like you were only asked to do so because your schedule worked out or some other coincidence. When these feelings of inadequacy come up, remind yourself of the tangible success you’ve had in the past. Keep a file on your devices where you save screenshots of positive feedback + anything else that reminds you that you are capable of doing what you do, and doing it well.”

Read the full thing >

How to Start Separating Your Self-Worth from Your Job

“It can be really powerful to reclaim rest for yourself, just for the enjoyment of resting. You don’t have to rest because rest makes people more productive at work (although if that’s what motivates you, it’s fine to feel that way!), you can just rest because you’re a human and you deserve rest. You don’t have to monetize every skill you have. Remember that you can find worth in things outside of their monetary value. You can enjoy things just for the sake of enjoying them.”

Read the full thing >

7 Tips to Manage Stress at Work

“Before stress gets out of control, take some time to face it head on. Try journaling about your stress. What’s causing you stress? How is it making you feel? Give yourself space first just to vent (or vent to a friend) before you try to problem solve. Does it feel like the end of the world? Say that! Once you get it out you can start to focus on the reality of the situation, instead of the emotional reaction to the situation.”

Read the full thing >

Adjusting Workplace Expectations in Times of High Stress

“We all need to slow down a little. Pushing ourselves as hard as we can for as long as we can is a one way track to burnout. And these days that track is hyper-speed. When your plate is full, consider putting an autoresponder on your email to let people know that you might be a little slower getting back to them. Maybe provide a window of when they can expect a reply! This empowers you to both step away from your inbox so you aren’t overwhelmed by a hundred new emails as you’re trying to get your work done, and also shows respect for your colleagues because it doesn’t just leave them wondering if you got their message or if you’re planning on responding.”

Read the full thing >

How to Be Mindful About Working from Home

“Be careful not to over-correct. Remember isolation is a downside of working from home. If you’ve gone your entire professional life working in a social environment, not having that can feel draining–yes even the absence of something can drain your energy! Remind yourself there was time to be social and connected with others in your office life, so there should be time for that in your home-office life. Whether that’s having casual meetings with your team just to chat and touch base, or taking a break midday to go have a meal with your roommates, just make sure your need for privacy isn’t exacerbating any isolation you may be feeling as a result of working from home.”

Read the full thing >

Does your workplace need support in centering mental health and wellbeing? Is your team struggling to cope, but you’re not sure what to do or how to address it? We can help.

Most of us don’t like feeling anger. 

It’s one of those emotions we think of as purely negative, something to be avoided whenever we can. But we can’t actually avoid any of our emotions, no matter how much we want to. And we aren’t actually better off avoiding them, even if in the moment it does feel better to circumvent something that makes us feel uncomfortable, which anger so often does. 

There can also be a deep feeling of shame that comes with experiencing anger for many people. Whether it’s because you grew up in a home where it wasn’t expressed safely, or where you weren’t allowed to safely express your feelings, or because it makes you feel out of control, it can be hard to unlink that immediate feeling of guilt or shame that can piggyback off of your anger. 

But there’s nothing wrong with feeling angry. And, when done in a healthy way, there’s nothing wrong with expressing that feeling. 

Your anger exists for a reason–just like all of your other feelings, it’s trying to tell you something! And often, anger is like a protective big brother–it shows up when you’re being mistreated in some way because it knows that’s not okay. That could be in instances where you feel: 

What this means is that your anger is actually a secondary emotion. It’s more like a symptom. Some dust got in your nose and your anger is the sneeze that comes with it. When you notice it coming up, instead of pushing it away out of fear or shame, can you sit with it for a moment? It’s trying to communicate something to you, and if you can listen to what it’s saying you can address the root of it. 

How can you listen to what your anger is telling you?

Pause

Whenever you feel that anger bubbling up, take it as a sign to take a moment to slow down. You might be worked up and want to react immediately, but if you can take a few deep breaths to recenter and ground yourself, you can listen to what you’re feeling without being controlled by it. 

Try to identify your triggers. 

When you start to figure out what it is that triggers those feelings of anger, and what it means, you can make plans for how to cope with those situations for when they come up. When you get angry, ask yourself questions like:

If you can, try to get ahead of it when you can too. Stop and ask yourself these questions even when you’re just getting agitated. If you can stop an explosion before it happens, you can cultivate a much healthier relationship with your anger. 

If you need support navigating anger, our clinicians can help you through this journey. Get in touch to find the perfect clinician for your needs.

Anticipation is a powerful feeling. Think of how you felt the last time you were really looking forward to something, or how you felt the night before a holiday or birthday as a kid. How did it feel in your body? The sense of giddy excitement that comes with looking forward to something can help you feel more capable of dealing with what’s on your plate. 

Unlike anxiety, which is the fear of what may happen, anticipation is a feeling of excitement about what might be coming. Instead of dreading something or worrying about how things are going to go wrong, anticipation lets you imagine what might happen if everything goes right.

Everyone experiences their emotions differently, but anticipation might feel like you have butterflies in your stomach, or you might feel more energized or jumpier than usual. 

Why building anticipation is hard right now

It’s been a long time since we could live our lives in any sort of normal way, and so many people are feeling burned out. We’re in the thick of winter, which can already bring up issues like Seasonal Affective Disorder, and we’re still in a pandemic. 

As we go through the waves of covid outbreaks, we keep experiencing the cycle of things opening back up and closing down again, and while it’s important to follow public health guidelines, it’s also really frustrating to keep getting your hopes up that things are going back to normal only to be let down again. If you’re feeling exhausted and defeated, that makes a lot of sense. 

While we might not be able to make plans in quite the way we’re used to, there are still things we can do to find things to look forward to. 

How to build anticipation

There are lots of big ways to build anticipation, like planning a trip or setting goals, but there are also many smaller ways to let yourself feel a sense of anticipation. Giving yourself something to look forward to can be as simple as having your favorite warm beverage in the morning. 

You don’t need to break the bank or go all out to give yourself things to look forward to. You can make plans to see people you love, check out that book you’ve been meaning to read from your library app, take a low cost or free online class to learn something new – the list is endless. 

Spend some time thinking about what feels exciting or fun to you. How can you make room for more of that in your life right now, not some time in the future when things are “perfect”? 

Why is having things to look forward to important? 

Anticipation can increase happiness

It’s probably no surprise that exciting or positive experiences can make you happy. But did you know that the feeling of anticipation leading up to something can increase the sense of happiness you feel overall? In fact, research has shown that planning or looking forward to a trip can make you feel happier than actually going on the trip. Knowing you have something to look forward to can give you an extra little boost of excitement or the willingness to keep going, because you know you have something great to look forward to. 

Having something to look forward to feels good

Feeling anticipation can be inspiring and energizing. You may even feel more creative or productive when you’re looking forward to something, because knowing you have something good coming your way can make you feel a lot more capable of dealing with day to day nonsense. It’s fun to feel excited! 

Knowing you have something to look forward to can give you hope

Having something to look forward to can also give us a sense of much needed hope or optimism about the future. Life is hard right now, and it can be tempting to feel like there’s nothing to feel hopeful about, especially when you’re feeling distressed or discouraged. We can’t control a lot of what goes on in the world in general, but we can control some things in our own lives. One of the things we can control is giving ourselves things to look forward to, which can inspire hope. Anticipating something can also help you challenge the negative beliefs you have about what’s coming. It gives you a chance to imagine the future with good things in it, not just bad.

Anticipation is distracting

Distractions are a useful coping skill. Sometimes the distractions we choose can cause problems, but that’s not always the case. If you’re overwhelmed with things, giving yourself a distraction can allow you to take a break. Distractions come in many forms, and one helpful one is planning things to look forward to. You don’t even have to make formal plans, just daydreaming can be enough of a distraction to help you get through the dreariness of these winter days.

So, take some time soon to plan out a few things to look forward to. Not only is it something to do that’s different from your day to day routine, but feeling anticipation can make it easier to get through tough times. If you’re looking for other ways to support yourself right now, starting therapy can be a powerful addition to your wellness practice. Contact us today to book a session. 

Every person can benefit from having some outside support at some point in their lives.

Most of us need it more than we like to admit, but the truth is there’s nothing we’re really meant to do alone. But, even though we know that humans are social creatures, who thrive in reciprocal supportive communities, it’s still so hard for so many of us to ask for help–especially therapy–when we need it. 

We can see that is especially true when it comes to therapy. If most of us are hesitant to ask for help when we need it in our day to day lives, taking the step to get professional support from a therapist can feel downright terrifying. 

So what is it holding us back from asking for help, even when we know we might need it? Here are 5 common reasons people avoid therapy: 

Fear of being “broken”

There’s a common misconception that you go to therapy to “fix” something. However, this isn’t true! You’re not broken, so you don’t need fixing. Therapy exists to help you identify where you need support, and helps give you the tools to thrive in your life, with consideration for your needs, desires, and values. It’s not about turning you into a person with no flaws, or trying to get rid of the “flaws” you currently have. Therapy gives you a space to sit and be wholly yourself, with no judgement. And from there, you can start to identify your own needs and where you need support.  

Social stigma associated with therapy: 

While conversations on mental health are becoming more and more mainstream, that doesn’t necessarily make it easier to come forward and announce that you think you need more support than what you’re currently experiencing. And even though mental health is a more popular topic of conversation, the stigma associated with mental health care isn’t completely gone. There’s still fear that if you go to therapy you must be “crazy” or judgment from peers or relatives who don’t understand mental health as well. 

We think we should be able to handle things ourselves: 

We live in a very individualist culture. The “American dream” is a dream of self sufficiency–where you can take yourself from a point of extreme struggle to a point of extreme success, just through hard work and determination. However, life is more complicated than that! And 100% self sufficiency just isn’t possible–nor should it be! We all need support, compassion, and someone who really wants to listen to us. 

We see vulnerability as weakness: 

It is scary to be vulnerable! And therapy is a space where you are encouraged to let yourself be vulnerable, and share what you don’t feel like you can share elsewhere. But our culture often associates expressing vulnerability or strong emotions of any kind as some sort of weakness. So most of us are taught to mask our feelings, and never let it show if we’re feeling vulnerable. Because of that, trying to adjust to therapy, where vulnerability is necessary for honest progress, can feel deeply uncomfortable and even wrong–which makes us not want to do it! 

Our problems “aren’t bad enough” for therapy:

This is such a common one–we think that because someone has it worse than us, that we don’t deserve help. But that isn’t how help works! You receiving help for what you’re struggling with doesn’t mean you’re taking help away from someone who is struggling with something different. And you not helping yourself in no way helps someone who has it worse than you. Instead of thinking “well, things could be worse,” try to flip it. Things could be better, and you deserve the chance to make that happen! 

If you’re looking for something to be different in your life, therapy can be a great way to start making changes. You can learn more about getting started with therapy here, or make an appointment.

It seems like everyone I ask these days is having a hard time focusing. 

Whether from the stress of continued life in a pandemic, compassion fatigue and burnout, or layers of complex reasons that are all interacting, we’re feeling out of focus. It can be frustrating when you’re just trying to accomplish a task, and you can’t seem to get your mind to stick to one thing. 

While not an instant fix, mindfulness is a great tool to help manage this challenge. Mindfulness helps us to stay in the present moment, notice our surroundings, and engage fully in the moment we’re in. It helps to decrease those thought spirals you get stuck in, or that pull your focus all over the place, because mindfulness teaches you to acknowledge thoughts and then release them. 

So how can you practice mindfulness throughout your workday? 

1). Focus on one moment at a time: 

This will take practice. And if it sounds like a big ask, that’s okay. Being grounded in the present moment is essentially the core tenet of mindfulness, so if you struggle with it at first,  just remind yourself it’s going to take some practice. To practice this, you could keep a post-it note on your desk with the question “Is this something that needs to be done immediately?”  

Our minds often fly off in a hundred different directions when we’re stressed about something. Which means, if you’re working on one thing and get an email that there’s something else you’ll need to do, unrelated to what you’re working on now, it can be tempting to just get it taken care of right away. But this takes away from the focus and momentum you have for what you’re already working on. When something like this comes up, look at your post-it and ask if it needs to be taking up space in this moment, or if it can wait until you’re done. 

2). Set boundaries for yourself to help eliminate distractions: 

While you practice staying grounded in the present moment, there are little things you can do to help yourself along. What is constantly pulling your attention away from what you’re doing? Do you feel the need to check emails as soon as they come in? Do you feel the need to answer emails as soon as you’ve gotten them? Do you keep your notification sounds on? These are all things you can do something about! Determine times of the day you’ll check your email, and try to stick to those, instead of being pulled away every time a new email dings in your inbox. Turn your phone or other notifications on “do not disturb”, so emergency calls can still get through, but constant noises letting you know there are things to check won’t be there to make you pause what you’re doing every few minutes. 

3). Don’t react immediately: 

If something is not truly urgent, there is no need to treat it with urgency. And often, reacting immediately leaves solutions or important details overlooked. This can go hand in hand with not responding to emails the second they come in. Give yourself time to process what the situation is and think through what you reasonably can do and when. 

4). Establish a grounding practice: 

Whether it’s the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise, or a deep breathing exercise, or something else, have a go to grounding method you can use when you need it. This can help you when you need to slow down before responding to something, instead of reacting. When you find your thoughts being constantly pulled in different directions, use your exercise to bring you back to the present moment. 

Does your workplace need support in centering mental health and wellbeing? Is your team struggling to cope, but you’re not sure what to do or how to address it? We can help.

Making the decision to start therapy is a huge one. Congratulations! If you’re reading this, it’s probably because you’re ready for something different. Working with a therapist is a fantastic way to support your mental health and cope with whatever is going on in your life, from interpersonal conflict to mental illness and everything in between. Therapy is an investment and it’s natural to want to make sure you’re getting the most you can from your therapy sessions. 

Even though it can be exciting to care for yourself by going to therapy, it’s natural to be nervous about making changes. That’s especially if you’ve never worked with a therapist before! Therapy is vulnerable and emotional and involves lots of self-reflection and honesty. It requires trying new things and going outside your comfort zone. 

If you’ve decided to explore therapy and you’re wondering how to make the most of it, here are 5 tips to help you make the most of your therapy sessions: 

Stick with it

Like many things in life, therapy takes time. It’s absolutely fine to look for a new therapist if you find the one you’re working with isn’t meeting your needs, but in order for you to see real changes happen, you need to stick with therapy for a while. Whatever you need to do to make sure you prioritize your therapy appointments and stick with it, do it! You’re investing a lot of time, energy, money, and emotions into the therapy process, and to get a return on that investment it’s important to commit to a regular schedule. 

Communicate with your therapist

If you’ve been in therapy for a long time but aren’t seeing progress the way you want, it’s okay to talk about that with your therapist! Your therapist will be better able to support you if you can tell them what is working and what isn’t working for you so they can adjust their approach if needed. It’s also helpful to check in with your therapist regularly about your progress and goals. Not only can this help you stay focused on what you want to work through in the therapy room, but it also gives you a chance to pat yourself on the back for all the hard work you’ve done and how far you’ve come. 

Take notes

Sometimes it’s hard to remember what you covered in a therapy session during the week. It can be helpful to keep a notepad or a note open on a device so you can jot down notes. Taking notes can help remind you what you discussed, suggestions or questions your therapist had, suggestions or questions you have, or anything else that will help keep what you talked about fresh in your mind when you review it. 

Reflect after sessions

If taking notes during a session is not your thing, that’s okay! Give yourself a buffer of a few minutes to a half hour after your therapy appointment and try to write down anything that stuck out to you or that you want to mull over further. It can even be helpful to write a full journal entry reflecting on your therapy session to help reinforce what you discussed and make sense of any questions or reflections you have. This can help you integrate concepts that you talked about, release any leftover thoughts, and give you a space to reflect that’s totally yours. You don’t have to keep a handwritten journal – you can keep a note on your phone, use an app, or even keep voice memos where you talk it out instead of writing. Explore and find what works for you!

Implement what you talked about

Spending one hour a week in the therapy room is a great start, but the real work happens outside the therapy room. The time between sessions is when you can implement what you talked about in session. It gives you an opportunity to to try new skills or techniques that you learned in therapy. Making changes takes practice, so make time to practice if you want to get the most out of therapy. 

Practice self-care 

Therapy is one way to take care of yourself, and practicing self-care between sessions can help you feel more prepared to do the kind of work that goes on in the therapy room. Therapy is intense in a lot of ways, and you might have sessions where you talk about some deep and heavy stuff. Knowing that you’ve got your own back and will be taking care of yourself is a way to show yourself love. After a therapy session is the perfect time to love on yourself. 

Taking care of yourself doesn’t just include the Instagrammable kind of self-care. There’s nothing wrong with treating yourself, but self-care also means meeting your needs to keep yourself in a good place. This means take your meds, move your body, nourish yourself, drink lots of water, maintain social connections, find ways to self-soothe, and give yourself time to focus on the present moment at least a little bit each day. 

If you’re looking for something to be different in your life, therapy can be a great way to start making changes. You can learn more about getting started with therapy here, or make an appointment

Did you know that making art can be a great way to support your mental health? Art therapy is a type of therapy that views creating as therapeutic in and of itself. There are many ways to heal, and for some, healing through creating is a profound way to express what they can’t or don’t know how to say out loud. Being creative be a great way to support your mental health! 

Some therapists specialize in a kind of therapy called Art Therapy. Just like some therapists have additional training in EMDR or couples therapy, art therapists have training in art therapy on top of traditional therapy training.

Art therapy is a type of therapy that views creating as therapeutic in and of itself. There are many ways to heal, and for some, healing through creating is a profound way to express what they can’t or don’t know how to say out loud. 

Making art promotes well-being and can provide social connections, which as we’ve all learned in the past two years are incredibly important. There are even tons of ways to get crafty in your own home – so perfect for pandemic times. YouTube has literally millions of tutorials on every craft under the sun, from knitting to collage art to woodworking. There are social media groups of Facebook or subreddits with tips, resources, and support. Taking up a creative hobby can give you an opportunity to make new friends and connect with new people, which can be helpful for folks dealing with mental health issues like depression. 

Art is about making something. Using your imagination to create something can help you express thoughts or feelings that you don’t know how to articulate in other ways. What might take you a long time to express or process in traditional talk therapy could be explored through art therapy. The guidance of an art therapist can help you sort through the information and make connections or spot patterns, just like in talk therapy.

Art therapy allows for mental health support in a therapeutic setting, but you can also benefit from making art outside of the therapy room. Our lives are pretty busy these days and it’s not often that we can slow down and truly take a break. Creating art gives you a chance to use your brain and stay grounded in the present moment.

Here are a few ways to be creative to support your mental health to give you some ideas: 

There are endless possibilities when it comes to art, which is the fun thing. There aren’t any rules, either, so feel free to explore what you’re called to and enjoy the process.

Creating art has a ton of mental health benefits in addition to being fun. Here are 4 mental health benefits of making art and being creative: 

Making art boosts your self-esteem

Creating something feels good, there’s no way around it! When you use your creativity to make something, you’re proving to yourself that you are capable. It doesn’t even have to turn out anywhere close to perfect – just the act of seeing something through and using your brain in a different way can help you make connections and process things. Making something is an accomplishment, and adding up accomplishments can be a big boost to your self-esteem. 

Being creative helps you get to know yourself better

It’s never a bad thing to get to know yourself on a deeper level. The better you understand who you are and what you need, the easier it is to ask for what you need. It’s easier to make decisions in alignment with your values because you understand what those values are. You can use your creativity to guide your self-exploration. 

Creating art helps you release your feelings

It’s hard to put words to what’s going on in our minds sometimes. This is especially true in times of distress, when it can be hard to think at all, let alone make sense of your thoughts. When you express yourself by making art, you are giving yourself more information to use when you look for patterns and connections. In therapy, making connections and spotting patterns is invaluable. Often, the patterns we’re stuck in cause distress, but it can be hard to see where things come from. That’s why the guidance of an expert like an art therapist can help support you in making connections and interrupting old patterns that no longer work for you. 

Making art is relaxing

A good, reliable way to relieve stress and relax is worth its weight in gold these days. Creating art is a way to give yourself a break from what’s stressing you out. Making something requires you to use your brain in a creative way, and it also can help keep you grounded in the present moment. You can focus on what you’re doing with your hands, textures, and smells to stay mindful and present. Making art also gives you something to do instead of doomscrolling or zoning out in front of the TV. You may find that being creative helps you relax in a new way!

If you’re interested in working with an art therapist or exploring your mental health through creativity, get in touch with our office today. 

We’re already at another new year, can you believe it? 

Did you set a resolution in 2021? After 2020, I think there was a general wariness about setting goals we couldn’t reach. After so many plans and goals and milestones were derailed indefinitely it was hard to imagine that achieving our goals would be easier in 2021. There was a lot less talk of New Year’s resolutions because we were all ready for the year to be just as unpredictable as the one before! 

But to new year’s resolutions, I say good riddance! How many times have you set a last minute resolution, just to fall off of it by March? That’s the case with so many of us. With the excitement of a new year and the new start it symbolizes, it can be easy to get caught up in imaginary possibilities. 

This will be the year I read 100 books! 

This year I’ll cook every weeknight! 

I’m not going to watch TV on the weekends this year! 

We think of something that sounds good and healthy in theory, and don’t give a lot of consideration to why we haven’t been able to achieve it in our lives. There are a lot of factors that get in the way of reaching our goals that should be considered. 

This isn’t to say that setting goals is a bad or foolish exercise! But it’s important to set goals that are specific, relevant to our lives + values, and achievable. That so often is not the case with new year’s resolutions. And setting a goal for an entire year is a big ask! If you have a resolution in mind, try to break it into smaller goals that don’t put pressure on you to perform perfectly for an entire year. As we’ve seen, a lot can happen in a year that you can’t predict! 

Consider this year setting an intention instead of a resolution. 

What does that mean? Well, a resolution is an objective you are resolved to achieve. It’s a clear thing you either do or don’t accomplish. An intention on the other hand, is a values based, overarching motive to inspire or encourage the behaviors you want. Okay, so what does that mean?

Let’s take one of the above examples. If the resolution is to read 100 books, what is the intention behind the goal? Maybe you value learning, and reading 100 books seems like a good way to get yourself to engage your brain in new ways. But 100 books is a lot! That’s almost two books a week to read, every week. While that sounds lovely–most of us can’t guarantee that we’ll have time for that in a typical week, not even considering the times of year that get even more hectic and hard to manage. 

So instead of setting the goal of reading 100 books in a year, you can set the intention to engage in as many opportunities for learning as you can. This way, you’re not boxed into one thing–you could go to a museum or a local educational event, or take a class to learn a new skill, or watch a documentary instead of rewatching a show you’ve seen five times. All of these things work to follow the intention of engaging opportunities for learning, and it gives you the freedom to adjust to the ever changing circumstances of your life. 

There’s more flexibility and more freedom in setting values based intentions. Humans aren’t machines! And while routines can be helpful for us, it’s not actually likely that we can do the same thing every day, forever. That flexibility that intentions offers us gives us the freedom to do what’s right for us in the moment, and empowers us to make changes based on our needs and circumstances. 

So how do you set those intentions?

Take our example from above! Look at what your resolutions would be, and find the value behind it. If your resolution is This year I’ll cook every weeknight! what is motivating that? Do you want to be more mindful and intentional about nourishing yourself? Do you want to strengthen your cooking skills? Do you want to spend less money on take out? Your intention could be: this year, I want to be more intentional about how I nourish my body.

Or, look back to this last year. What things or moments were the most fulfilling for you? Why were they so meaningful? What things excite you the most? How can you incorporate these things into your life? Answering these questions is a simple roadmap to setting intentions. 

If you don’t know where to start, here are five example intentions for the new year: 

If you’re looking for more ways to figure out your intentions for the coming year, talking about it with a therapist can help. Therapy is a safe, nonjudgmental space where you can process your thoughts and feelings with the help of a mental health expert. Get in touch today to get started.

Here we are, at the end of another pandemic year. If you’re wondering how we’re already done with another year, you’re not alone! Just like last year, this year was hard in lots of unprecedented ways. We’re still in the pandemic, and life still isn’t back to normal. Burnout is widespread right now because we’ve all been under a constant state of stress for almost two full years. You might also be feeling the grief of what could have been if things were different. 

The end of the year is often a time where we reflect on the last 12 months and make plans for the next 12. When the last 12 months have been tough though, it can seem like a pointless exercise to reflect on the year. That’s not always the case, though! Spending some time in the last few weeks of the year thinking about what you went through this year and where you want to go can be a nice way to drum up some excitement and hope for the future. 

Remember, life won’t always be like this. If you’re struggling right now, please ask for help. You don’t have to do this all alone, and if the last few years have taught us anything it’s that life is easier when we work together. 

So how do you get started making peace with a tough year? Here are 4 ways to say goodbye to the year 2021: 

Take part in a year end ritual

A “ritual” sounds really fancy, but all it means is to do something with intention. Often we’re so busy that it’s easy to kind of run on autopilot and tune out mentally. Doing things with intention means bringing your brain back online and being in the present moment. 

A ritual can be as simple as writing a journal entry about your year. You could write out a list of good things that happened and not so good things that happened, and burn the list of not so good things when you’re done (while practicing fire safety!) as a way to visualize them burning away. You could plant some bulbs for next spring and imagine planting good thoughts and intentions along with them. Anything that feels good to you is right! 

Make some art that represents your year

Sometimes it’s hard to express what you’re feeling and thinking in words. That’s where art can come in! Art therapy is a modality that encourages you to express yourself through art, which can help you communicate what you’re feeling. You don’t have to be “good” at art to benefit from art therapy, either. The magic is in the making! 

As you reflect on your year, see what comes to mind. Do any of your feelings make you think of a certain color? Or do they feel like a big swirl of confusion? There’s no wrong way to use art to express yourself, so whatever comes up for you is perfect. Some ideas for art projects that could help you express how you’re feeling about the year are finger painting, watercolors, blind contour drawing, photography, collage, photo editing, working with textiles like sewing or knitting, or even coloring in a coloring book. Taking some time to make something that represents your year can help you come to terms with it. 

Remind yourself of the highlights of the past year

Sometimes at the end of the year it can be easy to think of all the tough things that happened, but harder to remember the good times. Way back when, it was helpful to remember dangerous or scary things vividly. That’s how people remembered to avoid those things in the future! However, it can get frustrating in the modern day. We don’t have to be watching out for evolutionary dangers, like predators, but our brains haven’t quite caught up with that. 

Take some time to reflect on all the good parts of your year. One way to do this is to keep a jar where you put memories you want to remember throughout the year. This takes some planning in advance, but you can write down your happy memories on little slips of paper, and then read them all at the end of the year. Another way to remember what went well in your year is to go through your photos or social media archives from the year. What was important enough to be captured on camera? 

Visualize what you want to bring with you into 2022 and what you want to leave behind this year

Visualization is a powerful tool. Have you ever rehearsed how something will go to calm yourself down? Or maybe you’ve experienced trauma and know all too well how hard it can be to distinguish between a traumatic memory being triggered and what’s happening in the present. Studies have shown that our brains can’t tell the difference between something happening in the present and something that we’re thinking about. 

That’s why traumatic flashbacks are so scary – it feels like you’re back in that traumatic moment, and even if you rationally know you’re not, your brain hasn’t caught up yet. However, this little quirk of your brain doesn’t always have to work against you. 

When you visualize something, you play it in your head like you’re watching a movie unfold. You can use visualization to give yourself a nice boost of confidence or to reassure yourself that you can handle what’s coming. Since your brain thinks that it’s already done it once, you’ll feel more confident doing it again.

To use visualization to reflect on your year, you can imagine what you want to bring with you into 2022 and what you want to leave behind in 2021. Things you might want to take with you include new lessons learned, new information about yourself, happy memories, or mutually beneficial relationships. Things you may want to leave behind could include negative self-talk, relationships that no longer serve you, or beliefs about yourself that are no longer true. 


If you’re looking for more ways to make peace with the end of another hard year, talking about it with a therapist can help. Therapy is a safe, nonjudgmental space where you can process your thoughts and feelings with the help of a mental health expert. Get in touch today to get started.