{"id":11407,"date":"2021-05-17T20:08:09","date_gmt":"2021-05-17T20:08:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/urbanwellnesscounseling.com\/?p=6882"},"modified":"2021-07-01T13:31:34","modified_gmt":"2021-07-01T13:31:34","slug":"how-to-set-boundaries-with-coworkers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/urbanwellnesscounseling.com\/how-to-set-boundaries-with-coworkers\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Set Boundaries With Coworkers"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Setting <a href=\"https:\/\/urbanwellnesscounseling.com\/workplace-boundaries\/\">boundaries<\/a> at work, especially with coworkers, can be intimidating. In the United States, we put a lot of value on <a href=\"https:\/\/urbanwellnesscounseling.com\/separating-your-self-worth-from-your-job\/\">productivity<\/a> and hours worked, as well as \u201cnot rocking the boat\u201d. So setting boundaries, which often put reasonable limits on our productivity and can upset others, seems like a no-go. However, just like in our personal lives, it\u2019s important to have clear boundaries at work. <strong>When we don\u2019t have boundaries, we can become burnt out and resentful.<\/strong> Boundaries also help us preserve relationships that can feel unbalanced or toxic. While it can feel challenging or even scary to express them, boundaries are actually essential for mental wellness at work. The tricky bit with boundaries is expressing and enforcing them, and in a workplace setting, this can feel uncomfortable at first. It isn\u2019t always easy to advocate for yourself, especially if you tend to be a people pleaser. <\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here are a few reasons why it can be difficult to set boundaries with coworkers:\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You\u2019re afraid of losing opportunities. You\u2019re worried that if you speak up, you won\u2019t be considered for new projects or roles at your job.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You want the people you spend 8+ hours with a day to like you. We all want to be liked! And even though it\u2019s not true, some people worry that <a href=\"https:\/\/urbanwellnesscounseling.com\/6-types-of-boundaries\/\">having boundaries<\/a> makes you unlikeable.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You don\u2019t want to rock the boat or upset anyone at work. Work can be stressful enough without having to deal with interpersonal problems on top of it. Keeping your head down seems safer.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You want to be seen as a good employee, and you\u2019re worried that advocating for yourself will be seen as high maintenance or not a hard worker.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You have a hard time with confrontation. It\u2019s never easy to deal with awkward or <a href=\"https:\/\/urbanwellnesscounseling.com\/improving-workplace-communication\/\">uncomfortable interpersonal situations<\/a>, like workplace drama or saying no to someone who supervises you.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>Boundaries at work let people feel safer and less stressed.<\/strong> Instead of having a workforce that is spending all their time and energy wondering how to interact with each other, setting boundaries can cultivate a culture where staff can focus on what they\u2019re there to do &#8211; their jobs.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you\u2019re feeling burnt out, resentful of your job, overwhelmed, unsupported, or otherwise frustrated with your coworkers, it might be time to think about setting some work boundaries. <strong>What specifically is not working for you?<\/strong> What are your limits when it comes to work-life balance? Is there a specific coworker who makes you feel uncomfortable? Are you being given more work than you can reasonably handle? Once you narrow down the specifics of what <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">isn\u2019t<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> working, you\u2019ll have a blueprint for where you need to implement some boundaries.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b>How to talk about your boundaries with coworkers<\/b><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are many ways to talk to your coworkers about your boundaries. Depending on your work situation, it may be beneficial to talk to your supervisor first, to make sure you have the support of management. If your supervisor isn\u2019t respectful of your boundaries, it may be helpful to ask HR or another advocate to sit in on the meeting.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One helpful way to approach any kind of difficult conversation is to use the Radical Candor method. When you\u2019re talking to someone about something hard, you want to make it clear that you care about the person with whom you are speaking, and you want to be clear and direct about the issue at hand.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cHi, Jolene. I really appreciate how you always take the time to chat when we have a chance. I\u2019m not comfortable discussing my romantic life at work, but I\u2019d love to hear more about the book I\u2019ve seen you reading.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h3><b>The important thing to remember about boundaries is that other people don\u2019t have to understand your boundaries. They just have to respect them.\u00a0<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You might also find it more helpful to have your boundaries written down somewhere that people can easily reference them. Sending an email with what you need to say to all relevant parties is another way you can set boundaries. The nice thing about having things in writing is that people will have a copy. If people have questions, they can refer back to what you have written instead of you constantly having to explain yourself.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you\u2019re doing your best to set boundaries with your coworkers but they aren\u2019t sticking, it might be time to bring in your supervisor or HR. As an employee, you have certain rights at work and there should be people on your team who are there to protect those. Unlike in conflicts in your personal life, you can call in extra support at work. You can ask your boss or supervisor to step in and mediate coworker disputes if there are any.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b>\u201cNo\u201d is a complete sentence.\u00a0\u00a0<\/b><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While it\u2019s totally acceptable to give a reason for establishing a boundary, with some boundaries that is not necessary. Explaining why you need the boundaries you need can help people come to terms with them and it can help people to remember and therefore respect your boundaries. However, some boundaries don\u2019t need an explanation. \u201cPlease don\u2019t touch me at work\u201d \u201cI\u2019m uncomfortable when you speak to me like that\u201d \u201cI need some space\u201d etc.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes people have a hard time adjusting to a new boundary. It can be the result of <a href=\"https:\/\/urbanwellnesscounseling.com\/3-easy-practices-to-try-this-mental-health-month\/\">habits<\/a> being hard to break. As long as they are genuinely trying to respect your new boundaries, giving them time to adjust can go a long way. Of course, some boundaries don\u2019t offer any wiggle room, and that\u2019s up to you, but if you can be understanding while your coworkers adjust to your new expectations, it can leave everyone feeling less frustrated.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b>Remember, you deserve to have your boundaries respected.\u00a0<\/b><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">People don\u2019t have to agree with your boundaries to respect that they exist. Deliver boundaries with confidence, so that people don\u2019t try to see what they can get away with.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Instead of just saying what you want someone to stop doing, <strong>give them options of what they can do instead<\/strong> to complete work while respecting this boundary. (ex. Please don\u2019t cc me on every email in this conversation with someone else, just send me an email summary when the conversation is over, or let\u2019s have a phone call to talk about what I need to know).<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b>Keep in mind that boundaries don\u2019t always stay the same<\/b><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If your boundaries are too rigid you might find yourself constantly struggling to adapt to change or getting overly defensive. In the same way, if your boundaries aren\u2019t strong enough, you will probably also have a hard time. You want to find that sweet spot of a strong boundary that you can enforce, while also being open to doing things differently if it serves you better. You\u2019re allowed to change your mind.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b>Finally, prepare some responses in advance<\/b><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It can be tricky to think on your feet, especially when someone is violating a boundary you have set. If you\u2019re worried about pushback at work after setting boundaries for yourself, try to make a plan for what you\u2019ll do or say. If someone violates your boundary what will you say? Write out some ideas and keep them in a note on your phone so they\u2019re handy at the moment.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be clear &#8211; maybe write things down if it helps. In a workplace, systems and processes keep things running smoothly. Having a clear boundary can make it easier for people to follow than a murky one. Remind yourself that it\u2019s a good thing to advocate for yourself. <\/span><\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you need help setting boundaries with coworkers, our <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/urbanwellnesscounseling.com\/wellbeing-at-work\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Wellbeing at Work<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> program can help.<\/span><\/h3>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Setting boundaries at work, especially with coworkers, can be intimidating. In the United States, we put a lot of value on productivity and hours worked, as well as \u201cnot rocking the boat\u201d. So setting boundaries, which often put reasonable limits on our productivity and can upset others, seems like a no-go. However, just like in [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":394,"featured_media":11431,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[128,174],"tags":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Set Boundaries With Coworkers - Urban Wellness<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It can be difficult to set boundaries with coworkers, but boundaries at work let people feel more safe and less stressed.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/urbanwellnesscounseling.com\/how-to-set-boundaries-with-coworkers\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Set Boundaries With Coworkers - 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